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original title: Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins' Ball
duration: 1h 26min
tags: The Director Of SMOKIN' ACES And NARC Presents
keywords: slowmotionscene, saxophone, murderofapriest, fbi, disguise, assassin, sonmurdersfather, womanshotintheforehead, stabbedintheeye, shuriken, endswithtext, aceofspades, rain, suicidebomber, trap, covered
I'm no quitter, I watched the movie in it's entirety, the whole uninspired story, the sickeningly corny dialogs, the cheapest-possible special effects, the mind-boggling "twist" ending and everything. I could literally feel my brain strangling itself with the spinal cord so the pain would end. I just now signed up at IMDb to warn you, for that taking one for the team wasn't completely in vain.
Let's review it in a more structured fashion:
First: The Plot. It has nothing to do with the events from Smoking Aces 1 and it's only very loosely related. We have several insane assassins competing for the kill, several FBI agents and a mark. There, the similarities end and the convolutions begin.
More than the entire first half of the movie is introduction of the assassins. And you get to sit through very long scenes of unreflected, extreme gore. In a flashback scene, one of the killers is driving several ice picks into the brains of a restrained but conscious man describing the process in every intricate detail. While the camera watches it without blinking. I enjoyed Rambo 4, but this made my stomach turn. It's unneeded and doesn't manage to transport any emotion, not even shock or hatred towards the killer. The rest of the idiocy is stereotypical White Trash Nazis that fornicate their siblings and The Black Widow, a Femme so incredibly Fatale, they had her kill a child molesting, Black Widow-seducing priest right before the altar. Then the FBI assembles to escort the mark to a not-so undisclosed, not-so safe location, but need to hand in their FBI badges and their brains first. Any climactic moment is either ignored (see: Brain Ice Picks) or ruined by one-liners coined by the directors three-year old nephew (see: Black Widow poison-kissing the priest)
Second half of the movie is watching brain-deprived FBI agents trying to secure the bunker below. They could've appointed Chief Wiggum from The Simpsons and he'd made less screamingly dumb things. FBI Special Agents AND professional assassins are shooters worse than Imperial Stormtroopers. They're shooting live midget clowns strapped with bombs into the bar above the bunker. Explosion CGI are worse than the special effects on Windows Minesweeper. Dumb FBI agents again, then corny one-liner, then another endless firefight among Imperial Stromtropper marksmen and then the forcefully contorted ending that will leave you feeling mentally molested for at least several hours.
The last seconds are the best of it: the main villain is simply shot like a dog. Two bullets put him and his shame of a movie down. No one-liner, no looking back.
By adding Jar Jar Binks and Wesley Crusher, this movie would have GAINED character likability.
Remember: what has been seen cannot be unseen. Friends don't let friends watch this. I don't want to be rude by actually providing this film with a rating and seeing that I haven't a choice I give it no more than a 1.
Smokin' Aces was in interesting film. It has a good premise that, even though it isn't remarkable or original made sense for the universe that contained it. A mob snitch is going under witness protection and a large group of assassins are hired to exterminate him. He name is Buddy "Aces" Israel, hence the title "Smokin' Aces".
This film on the other hand ignores the fact that the first film even exists at all and therefore, immediately the title "Smokin' Aces 2" doesn't make sense. That's the first reason behind this film's epic failure. The next step in failing is that this was produced as a telefilm and was shot entirely with a digital camera. Not a very good either because with a digital format and not a enough lighting the final product is out of focus most of the time that the camera actually moves. That's just a technical aspect and during the last half an hour of the film it was out of focus during many parts and seemed to be shot with 30 frames per second (fps); the proper way to shoot any movie that contains an actual budget is with 24fps.
The story here is that an FBI veteran is under witness protection for reasons made unclear until the end of the film and seeing that the first film contained a plot twist that was kind of predictable, this film had to have one, also. The teleplay's awful so I predicted the ending's twist within the first 10 minutes. Once again, a group of assassins must kill a man and this time he's locked tightly underground and is very secured.
The first film provided audiences with a barrage of strange but intriguing characters for its assassins, but every one of them had a specific reason for wanting to collect the reward money. This film does not go that far. It's just assassins vs. the FBI and it's mostly boring.
The action is violent and hectic, when there is any and while the special effects are decent (lots of a bullet hits and blood packs) the CGI is atrociously awful. All explosions are transparent and physics doesn't exist in this film in any way, shape, or form.
To sum it up, even for a made for TV movie this movie sucks. It's pacing is, probably deliberately slow and its assassins are pathetic caricatures. The twist at the end can be seen a mile away and makes little to no sense and the performances are pretty bad. Again, even for a telefilm.
Skip this movie if you liked the first one and even if you didn't, or hadn't seen it skip it anyway. It's not even worth a free rental at your local Blockbuster Video.
D. This film was supposed to be mainly about the Three Tremor Brothers, who are Darwin, Lester and Jeeves, yet only one has yet confirmed there return, who is Maury Sterling reprising his role as Lester Tremor. Nothing official has been confirmed by Chris Pine. But Kevin Durand who played Jeeves, has already passed on it. On Janurary 13th, a casting call sheet was posted on spoiler websites containing information that only Jeeves and Lester will have a cameo and they will be led by their sister named AK-47, played by Autumn Reeser. Another Tremor family member, supposedly named "Papa Tremor," will be played by Michael Parks. Although in fact this may make no sense because the Tremors history involves the phrase, "Same Skank mom, different deadbeat dad," which would hold true to the characters not knowing who any of their fathers were. First of all the Unrated Version runs approx. 140 seconds longer than the R-Rated version. These new scenes feature more violence and sex making it a logical Unrated version.
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